So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
