Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
this will be a night to untag.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
