Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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