man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
