: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
