i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
