I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
either way he was missing a nipple.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
