Sry I called you an 8
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
