Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
