Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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