He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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