I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
