I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
