It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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