Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
