I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
