New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize