i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize