Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
All I want is dick and wine.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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