i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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