He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
