dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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