I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize