In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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