I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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