only if we run a train.
done.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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