in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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