i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
