We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
