and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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