Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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