Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
