Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
