Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
tell me about the fingering
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