i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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