That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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