yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
