I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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