I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
