Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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