the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
why do cheetos always look like penises
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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