Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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