I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Randomize
