come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He did a backflip because drugs
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