I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
