The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
