I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
