Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
