My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
vagina is talking i cant
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
