On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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