Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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