just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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