i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
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