She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Reggie can tackle my bush.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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