these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
