I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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