yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
