ADVERTISEMENT

• (757): View more from Virginia

  then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!

  Fav 2 1025 1562

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...

  Fav 96 3924 1180

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (509): View more from Washington

  Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.

  Fav 17 1168 6342

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning

  Fav 16 4369 1699

  share tweet
  

• (970): View more from Colorado

  I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.

  Fav 19 7892 1294

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.

  Fav 13 1051 3393

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (702): View more from Nevada

  Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.

  Fav 3 3820 1157

  share tweet
  

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?

  Fav 11 1896 1323

  share tweet
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  My vag hurts but I feel vindicated

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  That is an interesting emotion combo

  Fav 1 897 548

  share tweet
  

• (319): View more from Iowa

  This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...

  Fav 1 803 672

  share tweet
  

• (863): View more from Florida

  Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.

  Fav 6 1245 748

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (904): View more from Florida

  All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you

  Fav 2 588 1180

  share tweet
  

• (251): View more from Alabama

  "Accidentally" bump into him after class.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.

  Fav 4 664 192

  share tweet
  

• (619): View more from California

  Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...

  Fav 1 13 50

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.

  Fav 0 55 13

  share tweet
  

Randomize