So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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