There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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