what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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