I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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