it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
