is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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