The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
