Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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