69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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