I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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